Default Judgements
can throw up some wonderful absurdities. Here is a BBC news story of a man who, after receiving four parking fines from his local council, took them to court for causing him "mental distress". The council didn't bother to turn up to the court to put their case, and so the man was awarded a default judgment of £20,000.
He sent in bailiffs to the council offices to get his £20,000. After the bailiffs began unplugging all the computers, the council paid up, to prevent the seizure of their rather important file-server.
The story does not have a happy ending for Mr Noon, the man who bought the case, because the council did appear at a subsequent court hearing and pleaded their case, which I imagine went something along the lines of "it is the accepted business model that we, the council, collect money from those within our sphere of authority, not the other way round". The judge, predictably, agreed, and awarded the council £20,000 plus £7,500 costs.
If Mr Noon is quick enough, he may be able to spend all the money and therefore challenge the council's bailiffs to do their worst.
On a ludicrous note, should a policeman spot the man in question wandering up and down any red-light district trying to get rid of that £20,000 in a hurry, he would be able to go up and say "'Allo, 'allo, 'allo, after cunt, Noon?"
He sent in bailiffs to the council offices to get his £20,000. After the bailiffs began unplugging all the computers, the council paid up, to prevent the seizure of their rather important file-server.
The story does not have a happy ending for Mr Noon, the man who bought the case, because the council did appear at a subsequent court hearing and pleaded their case, which I imagine went something along the lines of "it is the accepted business model that we, the council, collect money from those within our sphere of authority, not the other way round". The judge, predictably, agreed, and awarded the council £20,000 plus £7,500 costs.
If Mr Noon is quick enough, he may be able to spend all the money and therefore challenge the council's bailiffs to do their worst.
On a ludicrous note, should a policeman spot the man in question wandering up and down any red-light district trying to get rid of that £20,000 in a hurry, he would be able to go up and say "'Allo, 'allo, 'allo, after cunt, Noon?"
posted by Sopwith-Camel | 6:02 pm
3 Comments:
boots sez:
"'Allo, 'allo, 'allo, after cunt, Noon?"
Listen, are you certain that you're not me wearing a sock, or vice versa? All this time I've been under the apparently uninformed impression that only I enjoyed such juvenile spooneristic wordplay. Fucksake.
Think of me as a sort of Keith Harris, but without the annoying bird. When I get bored I stick my hand up my arse and make myself say and do outrageous things just for laughs.
I just had to tell Little Petal what I was chuckling about, so I relayed to her the story (I keep my blog a secret from her). As I began to tell her the tale she said she had read it on the BBC news site, so I told her my policeman's punchline.
Stony-faced grimace.
And so now I feel like Groucho Marx using up his best jokes on Margaret Dumont and getting not a twitch of the mouth in return.
"Oh, let us run away together, we could flee to my lodge in the hills, or even lodge with the fleas in your hills. We could bill and coo all day, or bull and cow for a change. I'd come home from work and find you bending over a hot oven, and; well, I wouldn't actually be able to see the oven, but it would be there somewhere."
Post a Comment
<< Home