Have I got fools for you
It's been gripping stuff on the news last night; Rumsfeld walking the plank, Hilary putting one over Bill, Bush stumbling and stuttering as he tried to claim he'd planned the change the week before but didn't dare give the game away, and best of all, the press managing to fix the result in the Senate.
The BBC web site carried a report that AP (Associated Press) declared Democrat Jim Webb victor in Virginia by 7,236 votes over Republican incumbent George Allen. Official results have yet to confirm a win. So it's a win even before it's official, if the press say so. Is that delicious irony, or what?
Back in Florida two presidential elections ago, the press did something very similar, declaring that Bush had beaten Gore even before the official count confirmed it,(ignoring the fiasco about chads and disenfranchisment for having the same name and colour as convicted felons). This press declaration resulted in the media stating and restating the result and setting it firmly into the expectations of the nation, which several analysts said had coloured parts of the process of trying to appeal the election irregularities. Since it was 'already known' that Bush had won Florida, what was the point in rushing to see if it was really so? It was accepted that Bush must have won because the news breaks must have been based on fact.
Sharp practices cut both ways, you know.
It's going to start happening here before too long, as the TV gears up to getting us watching more 'reality' because it's so much cheaper to make than real drama. Press Red if you believe Tony, Green if you believe Clare. Phone this number to evict John from the house, phone that number to see David and Dog re-admitted to the house next door, text 'MadMummy' if you would like to see Margret Thatcher roaming bandaged-wrapped through Whitehall with a cleaver and a curse in a remake of "The Mummy's Revenge".
I'd rather see Hislop and Merton running the show from numbers 10 and 11. They'd be less likely to fall foul of the press so often, and any cockups would at least be funny. Maybe even choreographed. They could have different guest ministers such as Boris and George every other week for a bit of ritual humilation and carefully scripted ad-libs. If you have to leak something to keep the wheels of government turning, leak it prime-time.
Or why not turn Westminster into Big Brother? Do you want to see Nikki as the speaker? Richard as Foreign Secretary, Jayne as Minister for Culture? Do you want to vote by phone for who gets to sit in the big room at the end of the series?
Fore ! (cough) Sorry, thought we was playing golf, didn't realise you meant the Gulf. Rowan-conkers. It's a medical condition, I swear it. I've got a four-letter from my mum excusing me from politi-git-cal correctness. I'm the effing Pee-Em, Haigh Whaddock-Hunt.
All rise.
The BBC web site carried a report that AP (Associated Press) declared Democrat Jim Webb victor in Virginia by 7,236 votes over Republican incumbent George Allen. Official results have yet to confirm a win. So it's a win even before it's official, if the press say so. Is that delicious irony, or what?
Back in Florida two presidential elections ago, the press did something very similar, declaring that Bush had beaten Gore even before the official count confirmed it,(ignoring the fiasco about chads and disenfranchisment for having the same name and colour as convicted felons). This press declaration resulted in the media stating and restating the result and setting it firmly into the expectations of the nation, which several analysts said had coloured parts of the process of trying to appeal the election irregularities. Since it was 'already known' that Bush had won Florida, what was the point in rushing to see if it was really so? It was accepted that Bush must have won because the news breaks must have been based on fact.
Sharp practices cut both ways, you know.
It's going to start happening here before too long, as the TV gears up to getting us watching more 'reality' because it's so much cheaper to make than real drama. Press Red if you believe Tony, Green if you believe Clare. Phone this number to evict John from the house, phone that number to see David and Dog re-admitted to the house next door, text 'MadMummy' if you would like to see Margret Thatcher roaming bandaged-wrapped through Whitehall with a cleaver and a curse in a remake of "The Mummy's Revenge".
I'd rather see Hislop and Merton running the show from numbers 10 and 11. They'd be less likely to fall foul of the press so often, and any cockups would at least be funny. Maybe even choreographed. They could have different guest ministers such as Boris and George every other week for a bit of ritual humilation and carefully scripted ad-libs. If you have to leak something to keep the wheels of government turning, leak it prime-time.
Or why not turn Westminster into Big Brother? Do you want to see Nikki as the speaker? Richard as Foreign Secretary, Jayne as Minister for Culture? Do you want to vote by phone for who gets to sit in the big room at the end of the series?
Fore ! (cough) Sorry, thought we was playing golf, didn't realise you meant the Gulf. Rowan-conkers. It's a medical condition, I swear it. I've got a four-letter from my mum excusing me from politi-git-cal correctness. I'm the effing Pee-Em, Haigh Whaddock-Hunt.
All rise.
posted by Sopwith-Camel | 6:57 pm
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