Decision time

I had a vivid dream last night. I was caught inside a terribly-overgrown bush, struggling to find a way to see through the tendrils and branches that were knotted together all around me. I felt for the weave of them, and worked out that pulling on one point could loosen the tangles somewhat, which freed up another point that had previously been a solid knot, and on an instinct I raised the mass above my head and swung it to one side, and I had room to move again. I grabbed handfuls of the tangle as it came loose and pulled at it, piling up the mess behind me as more of the weave came free, and I could move forwards into the space I was creating. I could see there was a clearing ahead of me through the thinning stems, and started forwards eagerly to see what was out there, but I woke up instead. I had a distinct feeling that I had achieved something, and lay there in the darkness for a while, wide-awake because the dream had been so vivid that I could still smell the strange pungent tang of the foliage and feel the raspy bark on the branches and the cool touch of the leaves.

It hadn't been a nightmare, there was no sense of dread or terror in it, and as I waited to go back to sleep, I realised that the uneasy feeling I had been suffering from all through the weekend had vanished. I no longer had any doubts about my future.

In the morning, I quickly looked through all the forms I still had to fill in, and knew that I was making the right decision. I emailed the agency who had contacted me about the IT work to thank them for their offer, but to let them know I had decided to continue with the work I was currently involved in. My future lies on the other side of a tangle of undergrowth, not on the other side of a jumble of code.

I feel much better now I know where I'm going. I still don't know where the rest of the world will be heading, but it has always managed to keep going, with or without me. I'm striking out again into the unknown, where I belong.